It's written all over your face

Gotta launder my karma

2006-06-09T10:13:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have been MIA for a while. You probably thought that whole cow scenario did me in, didn'tcha! A bovine was indeed found in enough time to save the day and with the exception of wet weather, the event was a success.

Since I last posted, that extra work that I spoke woefully of and had convinced myself would be my undoing turned out to be not as taxing and free-time murdering as I thought. Not yet anyway, and the entire process of hiring an assistant practically happened overnight and the person who was hired is precisely the kind of person I had hoped to find. Yeah, so that's all been good.

In personal news, I've been dealing with some behind-the-scenes stuff that I really worried over but it too has also turned out to be not as bad as I thought. One situation in particular has been almost a blessing in disguise, and though I choose not to divulge the particulars, I know everything is gonna be alright.

STILTS is out of seventh grade and is gonna be big MAN on campus now boyeee. He pulled up a particularly dismal math grade was proud of his accomplishment, as was I and his dad. My only concern is: WHATTHEHELLIMGOINGTODOWITHHIMFORTHENEXTSEVENTYONEDAYSUNTIL
SCHOOLSTARTSAGAIN??!!??

Oh yeah, something else to report. I also turned another year older while I was away. The event played itself out in such a cute, comical way too, I just have to share it with you. You don't mind do you? Good!

Since mid-May I have been having thoughts like, "Oh my birthday shouldn't be so bad even though it falls on a Monday and I'll probably have to work but....my friends will keep my spirits up and tell me funny was to cope with growing older and send me loving, funny cards, and it'll be fine.

It'll be fine.

My boss told me the Friday before that he wouldn't be here that day because he was taking his pregnant wife to the beach that whole weekend. AND, my assistant had asked for the day off weeks in advance so she could volunteer at a charity golf tournament.

So the day arrives and I wake to a homemade banner strung across the dining room doorway, which was hung in place after I had gone to bed. Sweet! Yay, my family loves me. I get dressed and go to work in an uneventful fashion and discover that my boss IS working despite what he had told me a few days earlier. It seems his wife is feeling lousy so the trip was cancelled. And that was the basis of our routine morning conversation before he disappeared back to his office.

Fast forward an hour or two and I get a surprise visit from a semi-relation who drops off a card and gift, and right after that flowers are delivered from my sweet and why-did-you-have-to-retire-come-back-we-need-you old boss and his wife. Two other people who work in the building have gone in together on a birthday card and present it to me with their best wishes and hey, things aren't so bad, right!?

Having heard the commotion, my boss comes down stairs and says IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, "Who got the presents and flowers? Are they for me?"

I raised my eyebrows and smiled sweetly at him (still stupidly harboring the thought that he DOES know what the day is and is just playing dumb so he can give me a card when everyone else does) and said, "No, they're for me...for my birthday."

Instantly his face turns to that funny ass look of dumbfoundedness before he utters the following, "So why are you working?"

I think I winced at him. I know my face contorted and I must've looked like I just stepped barefooted in cat furball throwup or like I just got a whiff of tar or eau d' skunk or farts out of Piper when she eats crap that STILTS sneaks to her.

And unfortunately, before I had the chance to remind him that he was supposed to be enjoying this time at the coast with sand between his toes with his pregnant wife, he heads back upstairs and calls down the bannister, "Oops, your present will be belated!"

Whatever. What. ever. I'm just gonna laugh. I'm just gonna breathe and laugh.

Lunchtime rolls around and I've checked my email and cellphone voicemail and answering machine at home. Hmmm, nothing much except for a bunch of spam and a couple of pre-recorded calls at home urging me to vote for such and such candidate in the primary elections tomorrow. Good thing I brought a bag of lettuce to work and ooooooh, I think there's still some reduced fat Triscuits under my desk! Wheeeeeee! Such a treat.

During lunch, I start a mental checklist. Have I forgotten anyone's birthday? No, I can say I have not dropped that ball in awhile. I mean, SURE, I've pansied out sort of by sending some Hallmarked e-cards, but they're nice to get and MANY times I send a real paper card and/or gift, but I have not Alzheimered away any of my friend's birthdays in a long time. I want them to know that I love them and that I am happy they are here on this planet by GOD.

By the time I leave for the day, I've found out that dinner plans have been scrapped because half of the people interested in eating away my goddamned celebration aren't feeling very good. Which is fine because I can remember a very recent time people who weren't feeling good forced themselves to go to dinner on a special occasion. It was an extremely uncomfortable situation and I wasn't even one of the people in pain!!

I call STILTS and ask him what he wants for dinner and he asks if I'll get him a Subway sandwich, and being the loving mother I am, I go and wait in line on a Monday night, in my neighborhood Subway, for 25 minutes because it seems EVERYONE else in the vicinity has decided that they want fresh delicious sandwiches tonight too. Any OTHER night, it would have been empty...empty I tell ya because I have been there on any OTHER night and it has been empty. EMPTY I tell ya!

Fine. Laugh. Breathe. Pull over and have a short cry in front of Walgreen's.

Then I remind myself that maybe there will be mailed cards waiting for me at home. Yeah, maybe people who love me actually took the time to shop for pretty colored paper and write amusing anecdotes for my pleasure on this one special day out of the whole friggin year that's supposed to be mine.

I get there and deliver the sandwich and go look for the mail...hmmm.

"STILTS, where's the mail?"

"I put it where you told me to always put it."

"Oh, is that all there was, cause I only found the bill for my gas card and that high school reunion reminder crap."

"That's what you got Mom."

My grandpa, BLESS HIS SOUL, loved to tell me tales about his youth or the horrors of being a Marine in Iwo Jima, tales about being a sodajerk, working for the railroad and then as a cop and then a detective and how he always paid cash for anything and never fell into the credit trap. Tales that I ended up hearing from him over and over and over. Tales that if I didn't think he'd beat the crap out of me in a loving way because I was showing off which was something only HE could do goddammit, I could tell him because I knew them so well. And after 2 or more hours of listening to these tales he would say, "And to cut a long story short, I'll leave you with that."

And to cut my story short, only 1 out of 6 friends (people classified as non-work-related, non-relation and non-semi-relation) remembered my birthday.

I'm thinking I should really count myself blessed and fortunate because I DID receive lovely wishes telling me how much I'm thought of from my ex-boss, co-workers, a few semi-relations, my painful parents, Piper, Woogey, Nosey, Dizzy, STILTS and STILTS' dad.

And while the day wasn't completely a Samantha Baker, I'm just trying not to wince.

It's the final countdown

2006-03-20T16:23:00.000-08:00

Oy!

I've got one week to find a mellow heifer for a two day stint in a trailer fashioned as a mobile dairy.

Who said this job wasn't fun?!

Don't want to be your monkey wrench

2006-03-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

Hi internet! How are you?

I really had every intention of posting way before now. Honest.

There I was, trying to be organized, trying to stay on top of this major project at work that ends in 14 days, trying to balance living, sleeping, teenager rearing.....and BLAM!

I get handed MORE work at work, and of a completely different nature.

I knew it was coming. I had fair warning. It's just that an agreement was made for this work to begin in the summer, AFTER the major project was completed and there was plenty of available time to prepare for the additional responsibilities.

Oh nonononono. Nope, plans changed. We do not want to wait for you to have available time to implement this new aspect of your job. It must be done NOW...for no good reason. AND you must still keep on top of the major project that's over in 14 days too.

But wait........it's sort of hard to be one person doing the jobs of at least 3 people. I don't want to put a bad light on the organization with poor quality work. Are you sure we can't work something else out?

Sure thing! We'll hire more help.

Whew....that's a relief! Thanks a bunch, I'm sorry I even raised an eyebrow. Gosh, I feel so silly!

Oh, no problem - not to worry. Just write the classified listing and do the hiring too. Everything's fine!

Huh? Write the classified listing AND hire the extra help? Great.....MORE work!

Sooooo.............there it is, my life right now. Banana anyone?

Holiday

2006-02-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

I'm running away.

For the weekend.

And not even the entire weekend, just Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon.

Heading out to lovely Santa Barbara, home of ring-tailed lemurs, a Jerry Seinfeld sighting*, cast-off cardigans and Spiderman boxer-wearing English Bulldogs.

I'm taking lots of pix so hopefully I'll have enough fun fodder for next week!

I hope you all have a nice weekend too. Tah tah for now.

* One of several brushes with famous folks I plan to blog about in the future!

Melancholy and the infinite sadness

2006-02-23T13:47:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow will mark the first anniversary of my Grandfather's passing.

It's hard to comprehend that so many days have gone by since I last heard his voice calling me. He'd say, "Missy! Are you givin' 'em Hell? Don't let em get you down, Tiger!" He always told me I had more going for me in my little finger than most people had in their whole lives. What can you say to a biased Grandparent?

It's been a tough year for all of us, especially my Mom and her two sisters. I know sometimes when the phone rings, she hopes to hear either his voice or my Grandmother's on the other end.

Both of my Grandmothers passed away three and a half years ago. My Dad's Mother in late summer and my Mom's Mother in late November.

I never really knew my Dad's Father. He was always kind of a family mystery to me until a few years ago. My Dad never really talked about him much, but as he gets older he starts retelling past experiences and memories, which I appreciate.

I love thinking about my Grandparents. The memories I have of them comfort me...particular things each of them would say, like my Grandma M calling me "Sugarplum" or Grandma N loving to indulge in crushed saltine crackers and milk. Somtimes these memories leave me smiling and other times, well...they leave my eyes red and puffy from welled-up tears flowing down my cheeks because I know all I have of them now are memories.

Loss is an overwhelming feeling to deal with. I don't care how stabile your emotions are, loss is heartbreaking. I really hope family members, pets and friends who have left this Earth have gone on to somewhere wonderful. I don't know that I care to label that place specifically, but imagining them happy and healthy is much easier to handle than thinking that their spirits ended with their last breaths. When I cry, it's because I'm feeling selfish that they aren't here for me anymore.

And I miss them more than I have tears to shed.

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Kahlil Gibran

Lips like sugar, sugar kisses

2006-02-15T12:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, my lips like sugar. Hey, my entire body likes it! I guess it would be safe to say that I LOVE sugar. And with yesterday being Valentine's Day, it was just one more excuse to ingest MORE SUGAR!

I thought it might be difficult to attempt a sugarless day. I thought I might get a cookie or 2, or a box of conversation hearts. I had hoped that no one would forget that I cannot consume chocolate because of my ~~affliction~~ condition.

Yeah, let's just say it was all pretty much over when my boss brought in a huge red heart box BRIMMING with QUALITY chocolates that his pregnant wife received. She's experiencing extreme morning sickness and told him to get the vile thing out of the house.

And it really didn't help when my Mom called to tell me she had made fudge for STILTS.

C'est la vie!

In other news: I need a new pillow.

I don't know if ANYONE else in the world has as much trouble with pillows as I do, but DAMN IT! I can NEVER find a pillow that stays lofty without murdering the outer cartilage of my ears. For a long time now, I've been accustomed to sleeping with 2 pillows so that I wouldn't have an aching neck. Being a side sleeper, my ears end up being pressure points and need to be cushioned.

The kind of pillow arrangement that suits me best is to have a not-too-thick but moderately firm pillow on the bottom, and a lofty and super soft pillow on the top. That way, I have the height for my neck but my ears don't feel like burning embers either! My problems isn't usually with the bottom pillow as much as it is with the top. If the pillow is soft enough, it's either far too thick or far too thin, and I've even tried making my own from the innards of those hard to find softies. It's a cumbersome task that winds up with the looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man just blew up all over the windows and the floors.

I realize this is probably a very lame rant. I know you're probably thinking that pillows are the least of ANYONE's worries. I agree. It should be that way. Lord how I WISH it were that way.

And as long as I'm wishing, I wish that I didn't have an entire mouth full of sweet teeth either!!

It's logical to me

2006-02-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

Once a weekend, STILTS and I wind up praying to our gods of commerce at our favorite holy shrine, Target.

I don't know what it is about that place. Why I do not feel complete without visiting at least ONCE a week, why I cannot go there and buy the true necessities ONLY, and leave those red tagged clearance items ALONE! If you read any number of blogs, you'll almost always find others with the addiction.

Anyway, we were there yesterday afternoon because a few of STILT'S relatives gave him Target gift cards for his birthday last week. He was raring to use them on music, PSP or PS2 games, or those clever tshirts with annoyingly witty phrases. So we're cruising the aisles, me trying to help him shop and ignore the India marketplace items that have gone on clearance, and him trying to decide what he wanted.

Thirty minutes, two complete sweeps of the store and an empty shopping cart later - I ask, "So. Are you going to - you know - buy anything?"

He skewered his mouth over to the side and wrinkled his nose and let out a deep sigh. " I don't know. Nothing looks worth it."

"You mean now that you have gift cards to spend instead of MY money, nothing looks 'worth it'?"

My I'm-getting-perturbed eyebrow raise kicks in.

"When you're broke you manage to find lots of stuff you just HAVE to HAVE! You're totally sure, there's nothing at all you want now?"

"Nuh uh, sorry."

"Fine, let's grab some Desani and go."

We get through the small market section and head over to the check out lines and end up right next to the boxes of sports, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh and other trading cards.

"Oooh, wait a minute Mom! Let me look at these," he declares. I pull the cart out of line to avoid a mass pile-up and wait. some. more.

A few moments later, it looks as though he's found something worthy of purchasing. It's a box of NFL trading cards, something like 64 of them for $19.99. He's really happy and pleased and as he starts walking over, his brow furrows and his mouth gets that scrunched look again.

"Awww MAN!"

"What is it, what's wrong?"

"The box says you can't open it."

"What?" I'm not sure I heard him correctly.

"It says on the box, DO NOT OPEN!" he groaned, completely flabbergasted.

"Let me see it," I say as I take the box from him. And sure enough in black letters with a bright yellow sunburst to grab your attention, it reads: 'Bonus trading card box. Do not open or separate.'

"Oh. It just means they don't want people in the stores opening the box and selling the packs individually - the packs are supposed to be kept together. It's fine, you can buy it."

Complete relief washed over him and he said, "I thought if I bought the box, I'd never be able to open it to see the cards!"

Zing went the strings of my heart - Part 2

2006-02-12T07:22:00.000-08:00

My boss asked if there was any dog food left in the breakroom. I told him that when Piper (my Pug) doesn't like a particular dry food, I've brought it in for the strays. So we took him to the copy room where he could be closed in for the time being.

He did not like that. at. all.

The 'giggles' quickly turned into high pitched yelps of "Oh no! No wait! Come back!!" So I stayed with him so he would relax and eat.

I knew I couldn't leave him, his yelps would ultimately disturb the other tenants in the building. He followed me back to my work space and laid down -- ON MY LAP! Do you know that old song, "the daring young man on the flying trapeze?" My boy didn't need a trapeze! With one graceful grande jete, he was off the floor and in my face in the blink of an eye.

And I was beginning to think he had a former life as a yoga instructor, because when he wasn't jumping, he was bowing down low to the floor and stretching his hind legs out with cat-like fluidity...not in the flicky - kicky manner like a lot of small dogs do. I put him back on the floor and told him I had to get a little work done. He laid right by my feet, happy as could be.

By lunchtime, the other tenants had come to see him. One of them said, "My, what a wooly doggie."

Which made me start thinking....Wooley....Woggey....Woogey. That's a fun name!

"HEY!! (I began having a conversation with myself.) You've already got a dog with a superior princessa attitude. This guy isn't going to go over with her very well. And he's going to have to have shots and get neutered and CERTAINLY groomed, not to mention who knows what else."

"I know, but I can't bring myself to turn him over to a shelter. You know the crappy conditions at the county one, and the other two non-kill places are going to be filled to capacity. I'm sure there's something I can do for him, someone who will want him."

"Uh huh."

"Besides, look at him! He's so cute, AND talented. He's not just any dog."

"Pffttt."

One month later:

Woogey is successfully making the transition from abandoned stray to full-fledged member of my household. Piper out weighs him by a long shot, but she hasn't inflicted her patent wrestling moves that the cats have to endure. He'll stick his nose right under her hind legs and lift them up.

"But I don't WANT to practice yoga!" I imagine her saying as her eyes bug out indignantly.

Between the money I've spent at Petsmart and the vet's office, I think I've qualified myself as a shareholder AT LEAST in one of the companies! Still, I can't think of anywhere else this Lhasa Poo mix could have wound up. He jumps and stretches and kisses me with gratitude every single day. He giggles all the time.

Last week, I was writing on our calendar that Woogey joined us January 13th. STILTS came up behind me and said, "Hey, that was 113. Just like our house number."

How about that. Woogey really was waiting for me!

Zing went the strings of my heart - Part 1

2006-02-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

Friday, January 13, 2006: It started out like most of my days: up extremely early, bleary-eyed by 9 am.

I have a ‘bad’ habit of reading all of my favorite blogs when I first get to work. Yes, I know I also have a ‘bad’ habit of reading them all through the day, but nevermind.

Anyway, I had just finished reading Secret Agent Josephine’s post about her friend, Lori, who works with a truly amazing organization that helps abandoned dogs. SAJ posted a link to Lori’s blog, and there I read about heartbreakers like Georgie and Jazz.

ASIDE: Please take a moment and click through those links, even if you're not in the position to donate, there just might be some other way to be a part of a terrific organization!

I was practically sobbing by the end of the story and knew I had to help in some way. While a huge donation was fiscally impossible for me, I managed to wring out enough dough to provide a little bit to one of these lost babies. I hoped it had made a tiny difference.

No sooner had I wiped my nose and out of the corner of my eye, I see a little black ‘something’ go darting past one of the glass doors that lead into our lobby. I wasn’t too surprised because my office is located just to the south of the county animal shelter. Unfortunately, heartless monsters drop off dogs and cats out here all the time. These fucktards believe that even though the shelter is closed, leaving the animal in the parking lot is just as good. (I try my best to refrain from cursing, but there really isn’t any other word to describe these ‘people’. I’ve had a hand in helping two abandoned dogs find really good homes in the last year alone!)

Mornings in this area are prone to heavy traffic. There’s a school bus maintenance yard less than half a mile away and I didn’t want whatever it was to get hit. So I took a shortcut through the breakroom and opened the backdoor. The ‘thing’ was a little black dog who had turned the corner of the building and was sitting on the doormat, waiting.

Yes, waiting. Most likely for me.

LEAPING! Lizards! As soon as the ‘thing’ saw me, it jumped straight up off of the mat in fluid motion. Just as soon as it hit the ground, UP it sprang again – this time adding a little wiggle. So I grabbed it up and brought it in, all the while it was making noises that reminded me of giggles....if such a creature COULD giggle. The poor dear was dirty, and was covered in small thorn-like stickers, probably picked up from being in the vacant, tumbleweed-infested field nearby.

I was surprised at how light it was, since the black, matted dreadlocks underneath the stickers made it look heavier. I brought it into the area where my desk is. I’m surrounded by a counter with a little door that can be opened and shut. So once we were closed in, I decided to have a closer look.

Two big, brown eyes. One small, wet nose. Two black and tan, floppy ears. One tail that had not stopped wagging. Four black legs with tan colored fur beginning just about where an ankle would be. Okay.

One very sweet and happy dog was again doing his yo-yo impersonation for me. I couldn’t stop laughing. Actually, it took me another 15 minutes to get him to settle down long enough for me to conclude that he IS male. I wasn’t too worried what my boss would say. He’s just as much an animal lover as I am and he’s even helped me get dogs into the building before.

He had come downstairs after hearing me laughing and said, “Oh boy. Who’s your new friend?”

I smiled at him and answered, “I don’t know, but here we go again.”

Where have all the cowboys gone**

2006-02-08T16:31:00.000-08:00

Hello!

I haven't stopped to realize how terribly LONG it's been since posting! Time flies when you've been absorbed with work-related projects, stomach misshaps, training a new canine addition to the household, and really trying to come to terms with being the mother of a teenager!

Alas, this entry is short and not too informational, but if you give me just a little more time, I will be back! All brand new and shiney too.

**NO, I have not seen Brokeback Mountain.

Who are you

2006-01-11T14:29:00.000-08:00

Cause I really wanna know.

To pop myself back into the groove of posting, I'm downright stealing this idea from Whoorl** who took it from Ms. Sizzle . But I'm starting a giant project at work and I really want to write too, so at least here's some sort of post!

The A to Z of Me!

[A is for age:]
Hmm. Yeah, well that would be 37.

[B is for booze of choice:]
You know, I really don't like beer. It's probably because that was the very first stuff I ever had a totally nasty hangover from. I was around 19 and at a party and everyone was playing quarters and I totally sucked at it and ended up drinking something equivalent to 6 beers in less than an hour. YUCK! However, now...I love anything with rum or vodka or Bahama Mamas from the Red Lobster.

[C is for career:]
I feel like a "Jill of all trades". I've done a little bit of a lot of things, but now I'm an executive multi-tasker for a non-profit corporation, specializing in event organizing and web stuff.

[D is for your dog's name:] Piper is our 18 month old Pug. She's a total hoot. It's so "funny" if you don't give her attention. You know, the constant kind...unless she's sleeping or eating or trying to perform the People's Elbow wrestling move on either one of the cats. You know, then she wants you to leave her the hell alone. So ignore her just a little bit and she gives one of her patented temper tantrums whereby she runs all over the house with MY underwear. Why, Piper? WHY?

[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Water. The computer. The bathroom. The phone. Basic stuff.

[F is for favorite song(s) at the moment:]
I loved "Such Great Heights" by the Postal Service until it became the commercial jingle du jour. And my all time favorite is "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters.

[G is for favorite games:]
I like to think I rock at air hockey.

[H is for hometown:] It's infamously known as Bako.

[I is for instruments you play:]
I played the flute and piano when I was younger and I can still read music.

[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Seedless red raspberry and apricot spice.

[K is for kids:]
One, STILTS who is 3 weeks shy of 'official teenagerismdom'.

[L is for last kiss:]
This morning in the car from STILTS in front of his school on my cheek in an total rush to avoid anyone seeing him perform such a vile act.

[M is for most admired trait:]
I have no idea what people could admire about me. However, I admire perseverance, loyalty and unwavering honesty.

[N is for name of your crush:]
Oh yeah, nothing like publicly admitting who gets ya hot. Let’s see, for me it’s Jake Gyllenhaal, Ewan McGregor (non Obi-Wan), Josh Lucas, and Ralph Fiennes.

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
First one when I was eight and had my tonsils out and second one when I was twenty-four and had STILTS.

[P is for phobias:]
I’m sure there are a lot of situations/things in general that scare me on a daily basis, I just don't ponder them. Big time worries though include the bird flu and Mother Earth finally telling us all to kiss her ass.

[Q is for quotes you like:]
“I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”
- Mae West

[R is for biggest regret:]
Not spending enough time with either one of my Grandmothers before they passed away.

[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Key Lime Pie and Lemon Meringue Pie this week.

[T is for time you wake up:]
4:50 am during the week and sometime between 7:00 and 8:00 am on the weekends.

[U is for underwear:]
Today, the pair that's torn just a bit.

[V is for vegetables you love:]
Mixed veggies from Panda Express! I do not like hot lettuce though, like on a toasted sandwich or reheated taco. Bleech.

[W is for worst habit:]
I had to think about this in a not-at-all-claiming-to-be-perfect way. My worst habit is taking time to clean things or put things away just before I should be going out the door to work or somewhere. It’s a compulsion.

[X is for x-rays you've had:]
Dental, of course. Two of my lower back and one of my right foot.

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
Cheesecake squares, cheese enchiladas, and mushroom/carrot lasagna.

[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Gemini. There was a time when a vast majority of my family and friends had a birthday somewhere between May 22nd and June 21st too!

** Congratulations on your impending mini-Whoorl! :O)

Christmas wrap up

2005-12-27T12:26:00.000-08:00

Hello!

I hope your holidays have been joyous and terrific.

In the last week to 10 days, I have:

1. Spent far too much money.
2. Eaten way too much food.
3. Drank oh so much booze.
4. Been so very mad at myself for all of the above.
5. Enjoyed letting friends and family know how much they mean to me, not at just this time of year -- but every single day!

STILTS managed to get his most wanted present, a Sony PSP. I have to admit, they are tres cool. If you have a big enough memory card in them, you can download lots and lots of stuff to it and make it...well, a portable entertainment system!

I managed to get a new digital camera. I like it very much and after I learn to work it, I will post more and more photos on this very blog, yes indeedy.

I get to spend New Year's Eve with E and her family and A too! E's here visiting her Mom and her Mom is having a big party, with KARAOKE no less! Woo Hoo Hoo....I am excited.

I hope you all have a terrific New Year and I'll be posting again very soon.

It's definitely Miss Jackson

2005-12-15T16:00:00.000-08:00

NASTY BUGS!

Good grief. I had done my best to avoid getting sick and thought I had done a groovy job. Last week though, I had a mild to moderate cold that only lasted 4 days -- presumably because I was so full of shtuff that would combat those nasty old cold virus germs.

And I had a few days of wellness.

Yesterday, they came back with a VENGENCE! I shivered in bed last night without the ability to relax and warm up under the 3 feet of blankets I was buried under. My body was racked with pain. My voice comes and goes. But I haven't got a fever or any green mucus. I have a cough and my chest feel filled with fog but that's it.

What planet did these germs come from?

That's what friends are for

2005-12-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

I met E and A my Freshman year of high school. They had already been friends years earlier and whenever I saw the two of them together, I was envious of that strong bond. They weren't in the popular cliques but they weren't looked down upon either. Any time they were hanging around together, they looked happy and like they were having F.U.N.

My best friend from elementary school and middle school was going to a different high school and whenever we spent any time together, I could see drastic changes in her that made me uncomfortable. In the summer leading up to high school, LSL had become more willing to "experiment" with boys, drinking and other activities I decided I wasn't really ready for. By Christmas break she was earning straight A's in all the WRONG extra-curricular subjects and our 5 year friendship was dying. Sadly, I never really talked to her any more and despite the differences between us, I really missed her.

When classes started back up in January, I would spend my lunch eating red licorice or one of those fried burritos high school cafeterias excelled in marketing. Our campus was one of the very first built in the city and had it's own large auditorium with a connecting 3 or 4 story classroom building. Flanking the entrance to the auditorium were 2 sets of fire escapes, made of lovely concrete with just enough shelter at the top for a bored and very lonely me to sit and freeze. My rear end had had enough of it and I decided I was going to crack that pair open and wedge my way in!!

I haven't seen E since she moved away in 1997. She's coming out at Christmas with her daughter and her boyfriend/significant other/great-sounding-guy. It's going to be terrific to get together after all this time. I can't wait to see her daughter, who in pictures is the INCARNATION of E.

A and I have had our hot and cold spells when it comes to communicating. Our lives have definitely changed from sitting in her room late at night plotting how we'd win Mtv's Spring Break contest with the Beastie Boys in Daytona Beach. But when we do get together, she can still make my ribs ache from laughing so hard.

You know, thinking back to that fateful time when I realized I wanted to be their friend, I also remembered how they were as sweet then as they are now and I didn't have to try very hard. They welcomed me into their hi-jinx faster than you can pull on a pair of fishnets and high heels...yeah, much faster.

High speed montage through the years with lots of laughs, tears, triumphs, disappointments, scares, uncertainty, boyfriends, secrets, careers, husbands, children thrown in.

Oh........ and love. Don't forget the love.

Dash away all

2005-12-05T15:38:00.000-08:00

I can cast stiches onto the knitting needle, but I cannot wrap my brain around the actual knitting part!

I'm going to get a crochet hook. At least I'll be able to DO something.

Suffer the children

2005-12-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

There's lots of shit going on in the world to make a person fume. Plenty of injustice and horror everywhere, every minute, every second.

Last night, on the way home I witnessed one right in front of me.

I was in the car at a signal light, waiting my turn when I saw a mother and her two daughters waiting for their turn to use the crosswalk. Work has been going on at this particular intersection for a while and it's finished for the most part but the crosswalks need to be repainted.

The mother looked to be in her mid to late 40's and the girls were 8ish and maybe 4. The older girl was carrying bags of something, possibly groceries. The mom was also carrying one similar bag in one hand. The other hand looked to be free.

The little toddler girl -- honestly, 4 years old is pushing it -- was holding a big book out in front of her.

So they start to cross and the older girl has her head down, like her only care is to get to the other side of the street. The mother starts to make her way across and calls to the toddler to get in front of her. The little girl warbles off the sidewalk and quickly walks ahead of her mother, but I could tell she wasn't really sure where she was supposed to go. Then, she takes
a few more steps, and she's nearly heading for the middle of this VERY BUSY INTERSECTION! Her mother yells at her, "Nuh uh...THIS way!" So she starts to head back in the general direction of her mother's voice but she didn't know that cars were mere feet from her!

The mother makes no effort to have the little girl walk right by her, she does not take ahold of her hand or clamp on to her little head or GRAB ahold of any part of her body that would shepherd her SAFELY across the street. Miraculously, she gets to the other side.

When the mother was walking past my car, her free hand was illuminated by the headlights. She had a cigarette between her fingers. She carried her hand all jutted out at a right angle, away from her body as if she was afraid it was going to get damaged.

When for the love of GOD is a cigarette MORE important that the safety and well-being of a child? WHEN?? A child who isn't capable of knowing that's she's supposed to follow her older sister or stay by her mother, is left to fend for herself for the sake of a cancer stick.

Isn't it great to know that she's got people looking out for her at such a young age? I bet she gets to breathe plenty of fresh, second-hand smoke too!

Hey there lil' red riding hood

2005-12-01T11:37:00.000-08:00

My office building has four entrances. One is a back door, mainly used by employees or people who come here regularly and know it's there. Another one is the entrance to the insurance agency in the North half of the building, and the there are two are on either side of my work area.

The owner of the insurance agency needed a temp receptionist and when the lady showed up, she came through one of our entrances.

Her accoutrements preceded her.

Get your mind out the gutter people, I'm not talking about THOSE accoutrements! DANG.

Anyway, she was lugging a very large, red leather tote bag that was disguised as her purse. It was large and obviously full of something. I mean, it was big enough to hold her belongings plus a few small dogs, their puppies and several loaves of bread. Like the one in this photo, but wider -- MUCH wider.

THEN, on the same arm (no less), she was carrying what looked to me like a ginormous Longaberger basket. Like the one in the picture, but with a handle going across the basket and not so deep. Are you getting a mental picture yet?

It too was laden with plenty of stuff, and for a moment, when she came through the door, I thought perhaps she was from a bakery or sandwich shop and had decided to come out to the barren side of town to peddle her wares! I was this close to fishing my wallet out to buy something from her when she asked if I was the insurance agent. I begrudgingly smiled and let her through the hallway to where she was supposed to go. I couldn't help but peer into her basket hoping she was hiding maple nut muffins wrapped in that clingy, saran-cello crap.

First of all -- what, What, WHAT could you POSSIBLY need to bring to a temp job with you that you couldn't live without for 8 hours?

You know, it wasn't like she was toting a baby, she looked financially capable of having a babysitter even if she had been young enough to be a recent mother. Good grief, her CADILLAC DEVILLE was parked less than 20 yards from the insurance office door. If she needed something THAT bad, couldn't she just slogg on out there and get it?

Secondly, I realize you're temping for one entire day - which would be no big RISK of getting fired or anything. But if you're going to an office that you have no prior knowlege of how big it is, or if there's a lot of room where you're going to be, or if there's even SPACE to stow your luggage....um, wouldn't you want to bring as little as possible in with you?

I'm sure she's a very nice person, and the bag and basket were in lovely condition....but let's leave the parcels on the chuck wagon, especially if there ain't no maple nut muffins in em!

The sweetest thing

2005-11-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

This has got to be one of the sweetest, most heartwarming sights I have viewed in a very long time: CLICK THIS

It's the webcam dedicated to the new baby Panda, Tai Shan and his momma, Mei Xiang at the National Zoo in Washington, D.C.

Just watch it for a few minutes and see if you don't have a huge, goofy grin on your face!

Oh the pain of it all

2005-11-30T10:46:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was in bed at 6:45 with a severe case of the chills and body aches. I didn't have a fever though. I drank a dose of Airborne just to play it safe.

Today, my head feels like it's going to explode right off my neck, my chills are back and my vision is kinda blurry. Still, no fever and no major symptoms.

I wonder if it's possible to just get a little sick? Kinda like your body fights off certain germs - maybe the more powerful and destructive ones, and lets the minor little ones slide by.

It's in his kiss

2005-11-29T14:45:00.000-08:00

That's where it is!

THIS story hit me sort of unexpectedly hard. Young girls are always dreaming of that end all be all kiss from their true loves and that poor girl got it, literally.

As a rosacea sufferer, I know what it's like to eat something that has an almost instantaneous reaction on my face. I also have allergies with certain foods. Onions for instance will cause my heart to race and leave me feeling dizzy. I had something once at a Chinese restaurant that did virtually the same thing AND made me feel like my throat was closing on me.

She MUST have known that she was allergic to peanuts if an epi-pen used to treat anaphylaxis was used on her immediately following. Couldn't she smell them on her boyfriend's breath? I realize that by the time she could taste them, she would have known it was too late.

How terribly sad for her family and especially her boyfriend. My heart goes out to them.

Ahh, in other news...I'm waddling around like most everyone else from eating too much Thanksgiving food. Maybe YOU have more self control than I do, but dang -- pumpkin pie is my oh my!

Also, I'm changing PRETEEN's pseudonym to STILTS. Why? He is now 5 feet 8.25 inches tall. And it's sorta funny because all the growth is going to his torso. He's still wearing his 29x30 jeans without any problem. Men's size small shirts are too short for him and even though the mediums look better, he likes the length in size large. Bro-ther. I just think they look sloppier.

Just more drudgery at the ol' salt mines. I'm considering taking up knitting as a hobby. My aunt knits and crochets and once upon a time, she taught me a few basic crochet steps. I really love the new yarns that have come out...so soft and airy or bold and chunky. So IF you get something knitted for Christmas, it just might have been made by me....maybe!

It's (not) raining men or anything else for that matter

2005-11-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

Besides the 10,000 degree summers, the city in which I live is a veritable yawn fest when it comes to weather. In my nearly 40 years here, there have been 1 or 2 dust storms, 2.45 times that it accidentally snowed, numerous Winter mornings when it was surprisingly cold enough overnight to freeze the water pipes and lots of tulle fog sprinkled in for good measure.

I've been laughing at the newspaper, local weather people and of course the weather channel since Monday. They have all proclaimed that we'd be receiving rain...you know, any time now. 70% chance of showers during the morning, tapering off to 40% over night. Uh huh. Sure.

According to weather.com people, we WILL have water dripping from the sky during the evening commute!!!

Mother Nature loves to use this area as her personal science experiment, and often times she will stick our area under a big, invisible dome. Sort of like duck under glass, sort of. We've got the clouds and the warm (WARM? In November?!!) breeze, but nary the tiniest droplette has fallen from the sky.

Quack.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2005-11-01T13:31:00.000-08:00

Dear PRETEEN,

As I watch you changing daily, gnawing on your fingernails and cuticles, trying to figure out what's real about this world and what's fabricated, I want to jump on your ass and cram you into a box and not let you out ever again.

No really, it upsets me to see you changing all the time, doing this "I'm growing up" thing. So what if I did it to your grandparents, MY growing up didn't rip their hearts out! I can't stand to see you leave your childhood behind. You didn't trick or treat this Halloween because when you croak the phrase out, it sounds like James Earl Jones sucking on helium. You loom in the distance like a tall, willowy figure except that you hunch over with your hands thrust into your hoodie and your chin at your chest because walking upright isn't cool.

Oh sweet child of mine, one minute you're wanting to play (just for old times sake) the old peek a boo game that would cause you to emit hiccup-laced giggles as a baby and the next, you're hording the telephone talking to JV about football or girls or why that music is so sick.

You can definitely be four seasons in one day. I know you have a lot of turmoil to put up with inside your head. I know that sticking out for ANY reason is far too stressful than being one of the walking lemmings. I know that while your nearly 13 years of life haven't been the most conventional, they certainly have been hundreds of times better than most. Which is why I cannot abide by the disrespectful nature you have been adopting lately.

My son, until you are old enough to leave the house and begin your own journey through this world, you WILL abide by my rules. These rules are set by me for your own protection, safety and all around wellness. I am not trying to keep you from becoming anything but a sensible person who makes decisions based upon logic instead of flipping a coin. I would also rather see you come to despise me for making you get up and go to school only to be "BORED TO DEATH" for six and a half hours a day, than hear you asking me if I "want fries with that" six and a half years from now.

I do NOT want to run your life. I repeat: I DO NOT WANT TO RUN YOUR LIFE! However, until the day comes when you are sufficiently capable of doing it ALL on your own, I will be your superior officer with the 37 years of experience you lack. I may not know everything, but I sure do know a lot more than you! So don't you DARE take that tone with me cause I will catapult you into next week so fast, your clothes will be last year's cast offs!

I know you love me. I know you're a good person. I know you detest waking up in the morning just as much as I do. But guess what? Going to school is the EASY part! Getting an education is so much BETTER than working day after day in a dead-end job. You can be ANYTHING you want my boy. The sky is the limit, and with the space program -- it probably isn't even that! You are so smart and you're a natural at so many things, just don't sell yourself short!

And really, if you wouldn't mind...please give me a break. You know I'm your #1 fan. You do for me and I'm there for you. Take the trash out and make sure Piper gets her dinner before we find her chewing on your socks or the chair again. Please just cut out this business of being conveniently lazy! Your brain is too good to waste.

I love you my boy, my son, my darling baby.

Don't give up on us baby

2005-10-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Wow people...where does time go?

I am so L-A-Z-Y when it comes to posting. I promised y'all and myself that this would not happen and LO and BEHOLD, I did it again. I played with your hearts, got lost in the game...ooh baybee, baybuh...OOPS.

Anyway, I have conquered one of my annual MAJOR projects at work this last week and am moving full steam ahead onto the next. And of course Halloween is just around the corner and my some of my local peeps are having a party and I'm orchestrating it for them because I do that stuffage too. Gee, you think I should go into the party/event/project planning business for myself? NAH!

If ever I was ca-RAZY with my thinkin, I surely would be thinkin I should do that!!

Back with more SOOOOON! OK? OK!

LOVIN YOU!

Wot U (Think U) Need

2005-09-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

You think after they have him grow his hair out, they'll get what they wanted all along?

After seeing the finale last night, I understand why they chose him. He sounds just like Michael. They were looking for a replacement, not a new lead singer!

Feh.

Don't you know they had to have PAID the other non-finalists to return! I know I wouldn't have wanted to sit there for an hour or more having to relive that agony again, thinking "That should've been me, that should have been me, why wasn't that me!"

I hope some of them get a better chance for solo careers. Many of them would be amazing on their own, and a few of them shouldn't leave those day jobs!

Hair today and tomorrow

2005-09-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

I don't get it.

My son has bee-yoo-tee-ful hair. It's a gorgeous dark brown with to die for chestnut highlights. It's the color I'd LOVE to find in a bottle for my own dye job. It's full without being too thick and it shines like a brand new penny. It's straight, unlike mine which has a natural wave to it and he won't have to ever EVER worry about his father's untimely receeding hairline affecting him.

When he was born, my kid's hair was sandy blonde. He wasn't ever a full on tow-head...but he had enough of the blonde going on that I wondered if it would stay with him most of his life. Then, when he was about 2, I was giving him a "trim" at home and needless to say...got way carried away with the clippers and gave the poor kid a buzz cut.

It started growing back the color it is now and he's asked me if I'm responsible for making him miss his opportunity to be a blonde. He's never let me forget it. Not. ever. No. forgetting. Ever.

When his hair is clean and he's just dried it with the hair-dryer, you really have to restrain yourself from running your fingers through it. It's enough to make any male model from an Abercrombie & Fitch ad green with envy...it's THAT sweet. But that's not good enough for him.

WHY, can somebody just tell me WHY it is that he feels the need to transform himself into Moe Howard? No offense please. I love the Stooges just as much as anyone -- n'yuk, n'uyk -- but soitenly, there has got to be a reason he plasters each and every hair down onto his head!

We've had many a heated tete a tete over this. His says he likes his "style" and I ask him how many other kids run around with bowl cuts at school. I ask him to ask his girl friends (girls who are friends) what kind of hair cuts they think he would look good in. He gets mad and says they would laugh at him for asking that.

I'm thinking, "And they aren't laughing at you with the shallacked do?"

I know he's got to create his own sense of self, his own style, his own HIM. I know I cannot possibly dictate who he is becoming. But for the love of all double crosses and why yie ottas -- I just want to see his forehead again!

Chicken...make a lousy housepet!

2005-09-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that Dana Carvey skit from Saturday Night Live? I laughed at it. I'm not laughing anymore though.

THIS scares the SHIT out of me. This is why I'm constantly telling my kid why it is so very, very important to wash your hands and cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. And call me paranoid, but I think I'll just stop eating any kind of poultry whatsoever just to be safe.

And here I've been worrying about California's preparedness in the event of a major earthquake. I think after reading this, I'll take a week's worth of localized 6.0 quakes ANY DAY.

All aboard!

2005-09-14T15:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with Ozzy Osborne singing the beginning to Crazy Train in my head. Not the part with words mind you, the part where he goes, "eiy, iye, yieyie". Over and over and over.

My friend E sent me these two links. The first one is from Anne Rice and her feelings about society and the governmental apathy towards helping people in NOLA. It's really a good commentary. The second one is more scathing from survivors points of view. Have a look.

I found this gripping account about what happens when anarchy and chaos are mixed with desperation and apathy from survivors about the sheer Hell on Earth not inside the Superdome, but in the New Orleans Convention Center.

On the lighter side (and oh how I search constantly for it) I had a good, hearty laugh the other night watching Jon Stewart. He made the remark that Hurricane Katrina is Bush's Monica Lewinsky and that the Republicans were really going to have to speak out against Bush having his pants down on this whole thing to save face, just like the Democrats had to speak out against Clinton, even though they could care less if he was getting a piece of ass. Jon said the only difference though is that millions of people were not left stranded inside of Monica's vagina even though she was "the big easy".

I must admit, I'm really happy to see celebrities coming out in droves to help with donations and spend a few tiny hours of their time with people in the NICE, CLEAN shelters. It's really giving of them, wouldn't you say? Mary Hart practically peed herself delivering the news that Jennifer Aniston donated half a million to the relief fund. I think the former Mrs. Pitt could have given more than that though, don't you? I really think celebrities should be opening up their homes for displaced people. My gosh, nearly every single one of them has what, at least two if not more mansions all over the place! Just choose one location and let about 100 families take up residence there! I'm sure they'd keep the place nice and tidy and well looked after. Sheesh, I'm just sayin!

It's that time of year again when my tiny circle of the universe becomes insanely busy. I've got about 3 major projects that I'm handling about 91% alone, and I'm juggling them all at the same time. It's all old hat and nothing new, but I'm getting a little sick and tired of being the only designated one to have all this fun. I'm really quite willing to share!

I didn't get to do all the updating and improvements to the blog over the Labor Day weekend like I had hoped. They're still in the works. Be patient. :O)

Please don't forget, if you haven't already donated to help the animal rescue effors in the South you can go to any one of the following web sites and give a little bit! Just look at the photos and try to imagine your own pet in these situations! It breaks the heart -- as well it should.

Humane Society of the United States

American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

Noah's Wish

Best Friends Animal Society

Many, Many More

Thank you! Woof, chirp, whinny, meow!

More later.

Give them something to talk about?

2005-09-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

WTF people? Our government can send troops to Iraq, Afghanistan, plenty of other places where situations are deadly. And what happens when those troops get taken out? They just send more!

So, when a catastrophic situation develops in the southern states of AMERICA, how come it takes 5 goddam days to send troops? Why were rescue operations halted and "troops" pulled out when lawlessness took over? Why weren't more troops just sent in?

The media is giving me whiplash. Is it true that anarchy is everywhere, that people run amok with guns, shooting willy nilly? Is it true that anyone trying to give aid to the refugees is being shot at?Earlier today, I've heard through the media that lawlessness isn't wide spread, that it's sporadic at best and limited to only a few pockets hither and thither. Well? Which is it? Because if it's the latter situation and there aren't that many people hampering rescue efforts, why are rescue attempts being aborted with the excuse of fear of violence being given?

I realize that the media is prone to um....highlighting the negative. How much more NEGATIVE can the desperation of thousands upon thousands of people be? While the situation outside the Superdome and at the Convention Center grab all of the attention, click that link and read post after post of people sending out SOS's for loved ones all throughout the southland who are still in their houses, hospitals, schools, nursing homes, etc.

Oh FEMA, Oh Mr. President, Oh National Guard directors! Are you going to send the troops in and get these people? Are you gonna let them die? Do you know how bad this is going to make you look if somewhere in the back of your minds, you're thinking that letting these people die will solve a lot of problems that will domino through the economy because of this catastrophe?

Don't forget about the media! They'll be showing your every apathetic decisions on the nightly news and in the papers and oh yeah, on the net.

I know, I know....it's almost time for my meds and to climb back into my padded abode but JESUS, I'm not the only person wondering WTF!!

COMMENTS:

I've got some great articles for you from LA Weekly - remind me to send them!

Posted by: E

Give a little bit.

2005-09-01T18:46:00.000-07:00

My stomach is in turmoil right now. Not only am I ashamed to be an American after watching the latest news, I am seething that I cannot raise money through a particular worldwide auction site!!!

What is wrong with this world? Do those crazed-gun-toting-asses actually think that they're going to turn the South into Mad Max Beyond the Superdome? Obviously they do not care past one drugless minute that shooting at the people who are trying to RESCUE them and the people around them are going to turn tail and leave! Hello? Think PAST the heroine or gang mentality for one moment.

Jesus, there are so many people down there who aren't even at any of the "staging areas" -- they are completely stranded within cities all over the place. Gee, the nightly news doesn't seem to have any problem finding them and putting them on tv, so why in the FUCK isn't any FEMA or National Guard soldiers getting to them? Fucking politics and fat asses who have their heads shoved up other people's asses? Pardon me while I'm livid.

Another blow to this frustration is that Eflay decided that 3 out of 4 items I was auctioning to raise donations for the Houston SPCA "violated" their listing policies because I didn't go through their Mission Fish pages, which apparently is the only "viable" way they think people should help. Well, the Houston SPCA isn't listed on the Mission Fish site as an organization to give money to! I stated on my auction pages that 100% of my auction proceeds would go to make one large donation to the Houston SPCA. This evening, I visited to see if anyone had bid on anything only to find that the listings had vanished without a clue. One listing was left and I quickly revised it so that it wouldn't "EXACTLY" say what my intentions are, but alluded to it for anyone watching the item.

Sure, it's fine to offer up bogus shit for your own rewards, shit that is in total violation every day, shit that you see plenty of people making money on for their own good and you try to do something good in the face of hopelessness and YOU are the person they look at say "OH NO, You can't do THAT!"

Somebody please explain the assbackwards thinking on either one of these situations! Am I nucking futs or what?

In the meantime, please remember all of the four-legged creatures that cannot attempt to wave the news crews down for airtime, begging and pleading to be picked up for a chance to live in a shelter. Please donate to any SPCA or other various organization helping animals scared to death by mankind and mother nature. I know humankind and children are important and I have donated to the Red Cross, but please throw any sized bone to those poor animals.

Thank you.

I keep holdin' on to yesterday.

2005-08-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

Ha ha! I bet I had you thinking I was gonna give this up, didn't I? Nooo, I'm committed to this blog dontchaknow. And hey, if anyone was wagering bets, I think it's only fair that I get a percentage!

Really, slip me some.

Over the weekend, we celebrated my Dad's 59th birthday. We took him to dinner at the Red Lobster where I consumed Aztec chicken because I don't like seafood all that much. Their version of a Bahama Mama is an interesting concoction though. This Mama was definitely thinking she was in the Bahamas after she drank a couple!

When dinner was over, we all headed back to give him his gifts and because my Mom got him one of these. Do you think it ever crossed her mind one time as she was salivating over the chocolate ganache that there was no way in my dermatologist's waiting room Hell that I could have even a morsel of that?

No. Not even a passing thought or the faintest whisper of a thought. Nothing passed through her synapses regarding my inability to consume chocolate without terrible, terrible consequences! And you know what the kicker is? Doctors say rosacea is hereditary and it comes from her side of the family!

All she said to me as I bemoaned my outcast state was, "Well honey, there's some Jerseymaid vanilla ice cream in the freezer you can have." Oh yeah, vanilla ice cream...woo hoo boy! Now THAT'S livin!
So I scooped myself out into a dish and silently told my inner rosacea demons to shut the *&%!?#$ up and be happy with it.

Monday rolled around and brought the start of the new school year with it. I am now getting up at 5:00 am to have enough time to take a shower, dry my hair and get my face put on before I drag the PRETEEN out of bed so that he can take a shower, drink breakfast (MILK) and collect our belongings before heading off to school. He has to be there by 7:30 and that leaves me with 30 minutes before I have to be to work. That's 30 more minutes I could have been dozing on the couch between plucking my stray eyebrows and wondering which piece of fruit has the least amount of mealiness inside.

My boss doesn't know what to think. Whereas I was consistently 15 minutes late everyday, I'm now going to be consistently 15 minutes early. And believe it or not, this makes for a LONG ASS day.

Yep, so even though it was nothing but whine, whine and groan, groan and bitch, bitch...I'm still here! :O)

Comments

Hmmm - thought I was workin hard... nothin on you. God u deserve a rich man with a plan.....
Love ya still and Ive never forgotten ya!
xxxxxxxxxx
Posted by: Brit

Tie me up, tie me down.

2005-08-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

No, this post isn't about bondage. Well, I guess it could be if you think being ramshackled to your own life counts as daily adventures in the land of S&M!

Anyway, I've been meaning to finish my INXS story but have been busy with back to school shopping, selling bunches of crap on Ebay to fund the back to school shopping (seriously, are those shoes made of GOLD or what!?!), and getting all caught up on Rock Star INXS. I have my priorities you know.

Okay, I last left you with my best friend E and I headed to a particular California theme park where the boys from down under were playing a concert. This particular theme park had a lot of new wave groups play live throughout the 80's and there were no black, round ears on their heads. E also thought Adam Ant was playing there too, but come to find out -- he had taken another gig elsewhere, which was fine by us because we had been listening to Shaboo Shoobah nonstop on our Walkmans and were already loving all the songs.

So we get there and scramble away leaving my Mom and my Aunt to figure out how to kill 4 or more hours since neither one of them were into riding rollercoasters.

The line into the concert already snaked throughout the waiting area of the pavillion they were playing in. It was situated on the side of a hill and no breeze could get to us. We were all getting sweaty and bored, and the throngs of girls wearing ripped INXS t-shirts gathered in clusters to moan and mooch off strangers with sodas.

All I remember after that is somehow getting to be about 6 feet from the end of the tiny stage and jumping up and down constantly while screaming my brains out all of the lyrics to their music. I don't remember what the guys were wearing or what order they sang the songs in. I do remember that
Don't Change was the very last song and that somewhere in the middle of the concert these other 2 events happened:

1. E and I were so starstruck by these drop dead gorgeous men that desperation to meet them prodded us to scribbled some sort of honey coated dribble professing our undying love and devotion to the entire band and promising "acts" which we knew not of, but figured if we wrote them down anyway we'd have a better chance of our goal. We took the piece of paper and rolled it up in a small tube and tied it with a skinny hair ribbon E had been wearing, and decided that she would be the one to take aim and chuck it onto the stage whereby Michael himself would pick it up mid-song and read it while still singing, know miraculously and instantaneously it was from the 2 most beautiful girls in the third row that threw it to him and passionately motion to the concert staff to usher us backstage!!!

Shut. Up. It sooo could've happened!

So E launched our love note with all her might and it sailed, nay, it SOARED in slow motion over two rows of bouncing teenage heads, across a 3 foot wide trench of sweaty faced concert bouncers and kerplopped perfectly in front of Andrew Farris who although we were sure he was very nice and all, was NOT the intended receiver of our unrequited lust. After stomping on it a few times, he noticed something under his foot and looked down, bent over and picked it up. This incredible look of what can only be described as blankness took over his face as we watched him shrug his shoulders and set the scroll on top of an amplifier all while E and I kept screaming, "READ IT READ IT OR GIVE IT TO MICHAEL PLEASE ANDREW PLEASE!!!!!"

Less than 10 minutes later, half of the audience had figured out what we had done and began throwing their own notes, pieces of candy or gum, lapel pins, and whatnot at the stage much to the confusion of the band. They obviously hadn't experienced EVERY aspect of up and coming stardom as obviously no one had ever tossed anything before at the stage during a concert. Yet by the end of the "Chuck your stuff at INXS" free for all, underwear and bras started making it on stage which brought happier and more appreciative looks from the Aussie boys than squares of Bubble Yum did.

Which lead to event number 2. E decided that she would not be "one-upped" by anyone else in the audience and by GOD if our efforts to get the band's attention was going to be stripped away by all these blatant hussies, then she too was going to hussify herself. Sooner than you can say "Tie me kangaroo down sport" she took off her 36C racer-backed bra (because those were the only bras you could still wear tank tops with and not have the straps show which was a NO NO back then and not have your mother yelling at you to "house those girls" before you could leave the house), ripped it in half (she's mighty strong!), and sent one half flying Frisbee style to Garry Gary (my personal fave) and the other half to Kirk (even though it was meant for her fave, Jon).

After the concert was over, the only thing we regretted was not thinking to write our names and phone numbers down on the bra halves first.

And needless to say, when my Mom let us go on a few rides before we left that night, E found out that self-respecting modesty wasn't the only thing her Mom was trying to teach her!

Some time in the near future: Read my story about my other best friend Ape who got to party with INXS after a concert nearly 10 years later!

There he goes

2005-08-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

My son is growing up.

I know. I know. Everyone goes through this. Mothers and fathers everywhere have witnessed the changes come over their babies as they make their transitions into adulthood. Some of those can be subtle undercurrents while others are lightning quick!

My particular 12 year old's voice has changed. Earlier this year, it was still high and 6 weeks ago it began to get really scratchy and gravelly. It never cracked though, not like Peter's did on the Brady Bunch. It just had the quality of an old torch singer's voice. I can almost hear what it will sound like in the future.

A few days ago we were both outside and I caught a glimpse of his profile. In addition to the light line of dark hair that's steadily been cropping up on his upper lip since Easter, WHISKERS -- WHISKERS people, are growing like dandilions on my baby's chin! I don't know if I'm going to have to buy him a weed-eater or a Remington!

His favorite feature as he changes though is the fact that he's as tall as me now.

Mr. 5 feet and 7 inches thankyouverymuch.

He laughs at me in a surprisingly nonpatronizing way when I tease him and say, "Very soon I'm going to be killing my neck and bending it backwards just to look up at you to yell, 'Did you take the garbage out yet?!?' or 'Don't take that tone with me, young man!!!'."

And then he leaves to go back to saving the world from invading martians on the PS2, while I wipe the little tears in my eyes away.

Did you notice if you turn a heart upside down it looks just like an ASS?

2005-08-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

"Hey, wait. I've got a new complaint. Forever in debt to your priceless advice." - Nirvana

Yep, that's the selection my subconscious chose for my morning jukebox today -- yet again forcasting such a wonderful morning that I'm enjoying TO PIECES! Let's see, what shall I begin griping about first?

Well, after a hundred jillion years of dry, cloudless skies, last night around midnight, Mother friggin Nature decided she was gonna let one RIP and started in with thunder and lightning. I love a good electrical storm, just like any other non-midwesterner who doesn't have to put up with it day in and day out. But my 12 year old kid and 10 month old pug DO NOT.

Having turned in at 10 pm after an entire weekend of back to school shopping at the local malls where everyone else and their cousin and stepsister and Aunt Gory (yes, a name really overheard) were also shopping and taking up room and walking down the aisles so slowly and stinking like unwashed butt because it seems that the malls don't care if their 80 degree thermostat settings make their shoppers sweaty and smelly, for which after hitting about 20 stores we netted 1, count em...1 pair of shorts, it could be said that I was exhausted.

So, my brain won't shut up and my body is already dead and all I can manage to do is drift into a very light sleep where I'm not sure if I've really been asleep yet or if the time that's gone by is miniscule because I know myself well enough that if I turn over and see the true time, it will only make my brain THAT MUCH MORE over active than it already is. Then the fun starts.

PRETEEN comes in my room, clutching the dog and shakes my shoulders saying, "Mom, I just heard some really loud rumbling and I don't know what it is."

To which my reply was, "hmmmmwhaddiditsoundlikethunderorabigtruckssnnnnooorrreeee"

"I dunno Mom but it scared me and Piper is scared too."

"gggrrrrcanyouseelightningorheadlightsgolookoutthefrontwindowssnnnnmmppphhh"

"Mom, MOM!!"

"mmmhhmmm"

"It IS thunder cause I looked outside and there's bigass lightning going on!!!"

Oh joy. Rapture.

By this time the dog is trying to pry herself loose since she doesn't really relish looking out the window at midnight.

"Honey, let Pie go, so she can get in bed with me, and we're safe in the house so please go BACK to BED."

"But I WANT to hold her, it makes her feel better!"

"It makes YOU feel better and if you don't let her go, she's gonna bite you on the nose and I'm going to drag your ass up at 5:30 so you can get ready and come to work with me and find out how much fun it is not to get to sleep in for one more week until school starts!!! OKAY????"

"Fine!" Emphasized by the sweet sounds of stomping and a slamming door, followed by a muffled "Sorry" because he knows even though I'm tired, I WILL get out of bed and kill him for such insubordination.

Thank GOD school starts next week! :O)

I'm gonna take you over.

2005-08-10T13:00:00.000-07:00

1.....2..........2 and a half..........2 and three quarters.........2 and five.......oh just do it already!

THREE!

{blink blink}

TAH DAH, I'm just one of jillion estimated people who will start their own blogs today and lend their opinions to the growing cacophony on the internet!Personally, this is the third and a half blog I've attempted myself. You know, they just don't last when the excitement and newness of it all wears off. Then, my blog address that took me hours to come up with something memorable and catchy gets thrown out in the collective waste basket of neglected, moldy net garbage, and all the time I spent working on the design part of the thing is wasted......sigh. I'm really trying hard this time though and have confidence I can keep it alive for, OH....maybe 45 days.

So yeah, when I do, I'm going to throw an online celebration for all of my loyal readers and give away a fancy car, a trip to Jamaica and a diamond encrusted Rolex. Yep, just as soon as I find my fairy godmother or deaf and blind sugar-daddy, cause you know, that's the only way THAT'S going to happen.

I've written before that I love reading blogs more than I love writing my own. I've had the distinct pleasure of expanding my reading repertoire lately with some slap-ass funny bloggers who in just a few posts of their own, unknowingly re-inspired me to start this venture yet again. So here it is: "it's written all over your face" my blog...which is a line from the INXS song "New Sensation".

There's a few reasons for calling my blog by this name. First of all, I'm not the kind of person who can hide things very easily. Usually people know up front what kind of mood I'm in by glancing at my visage which is just one of a million reasons I don't play poker (inability to put on a poker face -- just in case you weren't able to follow that line of thinking there), but that's another story.

Also, I was diagnosed last year with rosacea which is not all as fun as "My you're looking rosy-cheeked today" as my former boss liked to joke. Yes, rosacea sufferers learn to live with this cure-less condition and what foods, activities or situations trigger the outbreaks. Suffice to say that merely LIVING triggers mine!

Secondly, I have a tendency to wake up in the morning with a portion of a song playing over and over in my head. Some mornings, I stumble to the bathroom mirror and see the fugliness of left over mascara I missed the night before and the new connect the dots pattern my outbreaks have created with "I like big butts" stuck in my subconscious like a broken record.

This morning, the voice of the lost and lovely Michael Hutchence comes screaming out of my inner stereo, "LOOOOVVVVEEEEE baby LOOOOVVVEEEEE....it's written all over your face. There's something bettah, we can do, than live forevah. And that's the reaaason why I'm heeerrrreee." Or something like that. I've been listening to all of my favorite INXS songs lately because I've been enthralled by the summer CBS reality show, Rock Star INXS to see who's going to front the band now. I think Jordis, Ty, Marty or MiG would be great choices.

Which also makes me reminiscent about the spring of 1985 when E (one of my best friends from high school) and I begged my Mom to drive our fishnetted-flouncyminiskirt and pastelcolored-tanktop-underthe-neckcutout-ofthesweatshirt-soyourshouldersshowed-wearing selves to a theme park to see a semi new to the USA band who was playing there. She was way ahead of everyone at our school with her taste in music, and I owe my love for Duran Duran, Billy Idol and all things SKA to her!

Anyway, she was forever reading SPIN magazine or the cool magazine from the Sunday LA Times and told me that Adam Ant and this Australian group of hotties were in California playing small venues and did I want to go see them with her? Also, her Mom wouldn't let her go most places unless I went too because her Mom and Dad thought I was this safe and stable influence in her life and maybe I was, and maybe I was also dying to be adventurous and sublimely cool like her.

Coming soon: We beg my Mom to take us until she flat out gives in.
I hope you'll come back to my humble little blog and hear the rest of my story!

Comments

YAY! my fellow rosacean is up and running...
looking forward to reading more!
Posted by: Whoorl