« Home | There he goes » | Did you notice if you turn a heart upside down it ... » | I'm gonna take you over. » 

Friday, August 19, 2005 

Tie me up, tie me down.

No, this post isn't about bondage. Well, I guess it could be if you think being ramshackled to your own life counts as daily adventures in the land of S&M!

Anyway, I've been meaning to finish my INXS story but have been busy with back to school shopping, selling bunches of crap on Ebay to fund the back to school shopping (seriously, are those shoes made of GOLD or what!?!), and getting all caught up on Rock Star INXS. I have my priorities you know.

Okay, I last left you with my best friend E and I headed to a particular California theme park where the boys from down under were playing a concert. This particular theme park had a lot of new wave groups play live throughout the 80's and there were no black, round ears on their heads. E also thought Adam Ant was playing there too, but come to find out -- he had taken another gig elsewhere, which was fine by us because we had been listening to Shaboo Shoobah nonstop on our Walkmans and were already loving all the songs.

So we get there and scramble away leaving my Mom and my Aunt to figure out how to kill 4 or more hours since neither one of them were into riding rollercoasters.

The line into the concert already snaked throughout the waiting area of the pavillion they were playing in. It was situated on the side of a hill and no breeze could get to us. We were all getting sweaty and bored, and the throngs of girls wearing ripped INXS t-shirts gathered in clusters to moan and mooch off strangers with sodas.

All I remember after that is somehow getting to be about 6 feet from the end of the tiny stage and jumping up and down constantly while screaming my brains out all of the lyrics to their music. I don't remember what the guys were wearing or what order they sang the songs in. I do remember that
Don't Change was the very last song and that somewhere in the middle of the concert these other 2 events happened:

1. E and I were so starstruck by these drop dead gorgeous men that desperation to meet them prodded us to scribbled some sort of honey coated dribble professing our undying love and devotion to the entire band and promising "acts" which we knew not of, but figured if we wrote them down anyway we'd have a better chance of our goal. We took the piece of paper and rolled it up in a small tube and tied it with a skinny hair ribbon E had been wearing, and decided that she would be the one to take aim and chuck it onto the stage whereby Michael himself would pick it up mid-song and read it while still singing, know miraculously and instantaneously it was from the 2 most beautiful girls in the third row that threw it to him and passionately motion to the concert staff to usher us backstage!!!

Shut. Up. It sooo could've happened!

So E launched our love note with all her might and it sailed, nay, it SOARED in slow motion over two rows of bouncing teenage heads, across a 3 foot wide trench of sweaty faced concert bouncers and kerplopped perfectly in front of
Andrew Farris who although we were sure he was very nice and all, was NOT the intended receiver of our unrequited lust. After stomping on it a few times, he noticed something under his foot and looked down, bent over and picked it up. This incredible look of what can only be described as blankness took over his face as we watched him shrug his shoulders and set the scroll on top of an amplifier all while E and I kept screaming, "READ IT READ IT OR GIVE IT TO MICHAEL PLEASE ANDREW PLEASE!!!!!"

Less than 10 minutes later, half of the audience had figured out what we had done and began throwing their own notes, pieces of candy or gum, lapel pins, and whatnot at the stage much to the confusion of the band. They obviously hadn't experienced EVERY aspect of up and coming stardom as obviously no one had ever tossed anything before at the stage during a concert. Yet by the end of the "Chuck your stuff at INXS" free for all, underwear and bras started making it on stage which brought happier and more appreciative looks from the Aussie boys than squares of Bubble Yum did.

Which lead to event number 2. E decided that she would not be "one-upped" by anyone else in the audience and by GOD if our efforts to get the band's attention was going to be stripped away by all these blatant hussies, then she too was going to hussify herself. Sooner than you can say "Tie me kangaroo down sport" she took off her 36C racer-backed bra (because those were the only bras you could still wear tank tops with and not have the straps show which was a NO NO back then and not have your mother yelling at you to "house those girls" before you could leave the house), ripped it in half (she's mighty strong!), and sent one half flying Frisbee style to Garry Gary (my personal fave) and the other half to Kirk (even though it was meant for her fave, Jon).

After the concert was over, the only thing we regretted was not thinking to write our names and phone numbers down on the bra halves first.

And needless to say, when my Mom let us go on a few rides before we left that night, E found out that self-respecting modesty wasn't the only thing her Mom was trying to teach her!

Some time in the near future: Read my story about my other best friend Ape who got to party with INXS after a concert nearly 10 years later!